Team BlueGreen: The epic of the 6th age
by njj3400
Summary: A Ralts accidentally hatches a member of a long thought extinct race (whose race could be guessed from the character tags) in a jungle. She then drags said newborn to form an Explorer team with her. Shenanigans promptly ensue. A Mystery Dungeon fic.


A blue portal opened in the air.

 _Belch_

And with that completely incongruous sound, a white egg, with green spots, bounced out.

* * *

The green egg has laid there for a year now. Within the first month, a wild Nidorino had tried to steal it. A rock had almost immediately fallen off of a convenient outcropping, beaning her in the head, knocking her out in full view of at least 30 Pokémon. In the second month, the wild Pokémon had started worshipping it, believing that the egg contained the next Legendary, created by their god, the mighty Arceus. Within the next four months, the egg had been carried around a fair amount, in an attempt to hatch early and for the Legendary to imprint on the wild Pokémon. They had reached six thousand, three hundred and ninety eight steps, along with 288 near falls (and 37 attempts to tie vines for the egg to be carried easier), before giving it up as a bad job, leaving it at its altar, saying such old adages as, "Arceus is as Arceus does." along with "Arceus works in mysterious ways." So saying, the egg was left alone, and for the next week food was left there, until the flow stopped. The last six months, the creeping vines, fed by the remains of the offerings in front of it, had slowly covered the egg until it was effectively unnoticeable from its surroundings.

Until today.

* * *

"…Is that?" Garde, a young Ralts had whispered, "Could it be?"

Garde was an orphaned Ralts, having followed the typical naming scheme of a shortened version of their last evolution's name. She was found by Team Frontier in the middle of a forest fire. Her parents, a Ditto and the resident alpha Gallade, had teleported away, having not been able to reach for her in time. Thankfully, Team Frontier, composed of a Charizard, a Blastoise, and a Venusaur, had managed to put out most of the fire with a quick Hydro Pump, although not enough to rescue Garde from having a burn scar on her horn. Following that, she had gained an idol-worship of Explorer teams, which explained her current awestruck expression.

"Woah! An explorer badge!" Garde quickly ran over and picked it up. She would enshrine this later, but for now, she turned it over, cleaning off the dirt on her dress.

"Alright, so this belongs to… Team Sprocket," Garde stiffened, eyes going blank. "Rank: Silver, currently retired. Founding Members: Klink, Klang, Klinklang. Amassed over one thousand two hundred points before retiring after Gia, the Klink contracted an eventual lethal case of Rust. Following that, team fell apart due to grief." She blinked, eyes returning to normal.

"Alright, maybe it was a bad idea to hole myself up in the room where they keep the records for over six days without food." She pondered for a second. "Nah. Anyways…" She spun around and pointed towards a startled Zubat that had been watching her, curiously, at a distance.

"You! Come to town with me. We're gonna form an Explorer team! Wait, where are you going? Come baaaaAAAAACK!" She tripped within four steps and started rolling. She rolled for a meter through the undergrowth, helped along by a couple of conveniently placed slopes, before finally being forcefully stopped by a brick of stone.

She looked up and her eyes widened, "Oh damn." The egg, bumped by her green head of hair, fell from the altar, was quickly shifted off course from a fatal fall to a particularly pointy rock by a hastily used Confusion, and rolled end-over-end twice.

"Thank goo- oh are you freaking _kidding me_." The egg had reached its limit of steps and started glowing. The glow reached a nearly blinding crescendo, before finally dying down to reveal a small blue and black canine with red eyes. She looked around quizzically wondering exactly where the hell she was, in the traditional style of all newborn Pokémon.

"ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshholydamnohlawdarceus," Her red eyes locked on to a Ralts nearby. Were those _stars_ in her eyes? How the hell did she manage that? I mean, she obviously wasn't far evolved enough to be able to summon illusions yet… "Himyname'sGardeyou'reaRioluareyouanorphanifyou"  
She was shown to not actually be able to breathe through her skin as she took a deep inhale, before the high speed talking continued, albeit at something somewhat understandable, "are, then I guess your name's Lu, if not, then who are your parents?"

The Riolu, glad to finally get a word in edgewise, said, "Well, considering that we're kinda in an overgrown clearing and that I was apparently born here… guess I'm Lu." Garde enthusiastically grabbed the newly christened Lu's hand and shook it. "Then make a Team with me!" Lu gave her a blank stare. "The hell's that?"

The next hour was spent talking about the current state of the world.

Essentially, Lord Palkia had been tasked by the Lord Arceus at the most recent Hall of Legends Jubilee about two hundred and fifty years ago (also known as going on a rampage after having a "good" idea while drunk) to create areas where Pokémon could explore and sate their endless curiosity forever, as well as places to train. (also known as "I wanted to screw with the little shits.") So the mystery dungeons were born, products of Lord Palkia's brilliant (drunken) mind. The mystery dungeons were eternally changing dungeons, changing every time another team entered. Although the start and end points were the same, the middle was vastly different. Eventually, the wild Pokémon, who did not prefer to live in town, moved to the mystery dungeons, keeping their own homes, which thanks to Lord Palkia's blessing (and a generous three wineries worth of Alcohol), had a small bubble around them unaffected by the Mystery Dungeons' ever-changing environment. Naturally, townPokémon formed their own guilds, with their own Exploration teams, dedicated to finding new Mystery dungeons and such. Eventually this turned into finding lost rookies, finding criminals who had escaped into these dungeons, and so on, with the rescue badge teleportation technology having been found by the legendary Colress, a Magnezone genius. As a side note, while wild Pokémon would fight with the townPokémon, they generally did not encroach on each other's territory. Yes, there was some looking down on each other on both sides, but for the most part they were roughly evenly matched. Legendaries did not tolerate mass genocide, as it turned out. Who knew? This resulted in Pokémon having grown stronger as time went on, which conspiracy theorists claimed was for several things, such as: preparing for a war, preparing for the next generations, preparing for the time where all Legendaries eventually became irrevocably insane, etc. Most thought they were just doing it for kicks.

"Right. And why do you _still have those freaking stars in your eyes_?" Lu asked, still a little creeped out. Garde coughed, embarrassedly, before blinking, returning her eyes to normal. "Sorry, just got a little excited. But you're a _Riolu_! Anyone from the Lucario line hasn't been seen for six _centuries_! They were said to be extraordinary warriors, and everyone thinks they migrated to the mountains to meditate or something! The only non Legendary who's even _seen_ a Lucario is the old Ninetales mystic in the mountains, and she isn't telling!" You could see Lu backing away as the Stars faded back into place.

"Okay, got it. Now… what are we gonna do about all of those guys?" Lu turned and indicated the crowd of Nidorino, Zubats, Geodudes, Oddish and the obvious leader, a Golbat, that had gathered around them while they were talking.

"Yeah, what _are_ you going to do about us?" the Golbat sneered, while in the background the rest highfived. Garde, without hesitating, grabbed Lu, and pressed the button on the rescue badge. " _Seeya, suckers!_ " reverberated around the clearing as they disappeared in a blast of yellow light.

* * *

Lu appeared, standing up majestically from a three point landing on the ground. She then promptly vomited majestically into a four point landing on the ground.

"I, uh, yeah, forgot to warn you about that. Don't worry, you'll get used to it by the fifth time or so." Garde muttered sheepishly.

"But anyway! Welcome to Koffing's Guild! Also known as Poke U." She turned around and gestured at the well lit atrium, three corridors, the quick-response team staring at them, the Explorer Teams beaming in after a hard day's work, the students walking from class to cl- _wait what was that two things ago_

Lu voiced this thought to Garde.

"Ehehehe. I… should have mentioned that sometimes wild Pokémon find lost Explorer Team badges so there's a quick response team just in case they go berserk and attack?" Garde rubbed the back of her head.

The leader of the group, a particularly muscular Machamp, facepalmed. " _Again_ , Garde? It's the fifth time this week!"

Behind him, a Gliscor blinked. "Wait, didn't the week just start?"

The Machamp, face still lodged in palm, replied, " _Exactly._ "

"Ah."

The Machamp looked up… and noticed the canine hiding behind the Ralts. "Is the Pokémon behind you exactly who I think it is?"

"Yepperoonies! Her name's Lu, and she's gonna be my Explorer Team Partner!" Garde confirmed. "Now… which way was it to old man Yawu…"

"Garde! Wait! Headmaster Yawu's in a meet-" But it was too late. The Ralts had already pulled the Riolu bodily by the hand down the middle of the third corridor.

* * *

"Headmaster Yawu! I've come to- Ah. Um." Garde had burst into a room containing a Metagross, an Alakazam, a Stunfisk, a Slowking, and a very annoyed looking Wheezing. "I interrupted the twice a year schools meeting again, didn't I."

"Yes you did, little one," The Metagross, Sidirou, rumbled, though not unkindly. He was the headmaster of the second most prestigious school in the world, out of five, known as Unovenn University Universalis, or UUU for short.

"Ahahaha! I was waiting for her to run in!" The surprisingly excitable Alakazam, Ingeniu, squeaked in a rather high voice. Not one would expect from the third smartest Pokémon alive, and the headmaster of the current 4th place in the rankings, Johto College of Pokémon and Mystery Dungeons.

The second smartest Pokémon, behind Uxie, was next to speak. "Its… been an hour and forty five minutes. You owe me 450 Poké, Roya," the Stunfisk, Maggy, drawled. She was the newest headmaster there, of the rookie school Kalos Kings Kolleg K. The extra K was just there for a better sounding acronym. They had been formed only two hundred years ago, and had quickly proved themselves capable.

"Dammit! How _do_ you keep doing that?" Roya, the Slowking digging in his wallet was next. He was the Headmaster of the third best in the world, the Sinnoh Super School. He had a rather impressively large crown, showing his uniquely large intelligence even amongst his kind.

"Of course. _Of course_ you would burst in just as I thought we could finally have a Ralts free meeting." Lastly, we had the current headmaster of the current number one, and oldest, being two thousand years old, Pokémon University, or Poké U for short, located in Kanto. He was a Wheezing, the inestimable and shrewd Yawu. He might not be the smartest Pokémon in the room, but he was definitely the one with the most common sense.

"Ehehehe. Uh. Guess I'll wait for you guys to finish?"

"No, no. Make yourself at home. The meeting's already over, we were just making some small talk." Sidirou had always been the kindest to the small Garde, since she had accidentally teleported on top of his head. Garde blushed even harder at making herself a fool in front of all of these intellectual juggernauts (especially Sidirou, who she had always regarded as her mentor.).

"Ahahahaha! Don't worry, brat! Maybe you can help us with this!"

"And what would that be?"

"Well… we're currently needling Yawu on getting a girlfriend. He's… been too stiff lately."

Garde fell over laughing, which exposed Lu hiding behind the doorframe. This immediately drew every Headmaster's attention.

Yawu formed a palm of smoke, which he promptly banged his face into. "Why am I not surprised that you _somehow_ managed to find a baby Pokémon of a species thought to be extinct six hundred years ago."

"Dammit! How do you keep surprising us, little girl!" Roya… expressed. Vehemently.

* * *

When all was said and done, the headmasters were stroking their chins as one and nodding simultaneously, like some kind of middle aged, grumpy, excitable scholarly hive mind. It was frankly rather disturbing.

"Ahahahaha. So you say, you found her as an egg on a altar in the Jam Jungle territory? But that doesn't make sense."

"Well… we know Pokémon eggs last forever until hatched. But… it does seem strange that a random Lucario would decide to leave their egg on an altar, especially considering the famous saying: ' _Never poke a protective Lucario._ '"

"So, little one. What do you think?"

"Uh. Maybe somebody stole from the Lucario and then… yeah, nevermind. I got nothing."

"Act of Arceus, then?" Yawu suggested.

"But it's so unscientific, dammit!" Roya grumbled.

"Yes, but it is usually the best explanation for most things."

"I… suppose so, Sid. Even… so, it is rather disappointing."

"But anyways! Old guy! I wanna form an Explorer Team!"

" _Ahahaha! … That's what you came here for, dammit?!_ " Four professors shouted, synchronizing their speech quirks together through their combined determination to smack a certain ten-year-old upside the head. Sidirou merely chuckled.

* * *

"Stupid old man and his stupid paperwork…" Garde grumbled while standing in front of the Smeargle recruiter. To his credit, he didn't even bat an eye when asked to file a registration form for a Riolu. The other students/explorers weren't so kind however, and a whispering, staring small crowd had shown up, all trying to hide their curiosity at a near mythical Pokémon showing up.

"And team name?" the Smeargle asked.

"I've been thinking of this one for a _long_ time! Team megawesomextrcoolios!"

"No."

"But, Lu-"

"No. We are going to be Team BlueGreen."

"But that name _sucks_!"

"It's definitely better than 'megawesomextrcoolio'!"

"Megawesomextrcoolio _s_ , there's an s there. Get it right!"

"Ma'am, I have to disagree with your opinion, due to a character limit on names. You will be registered as Team BlueGreen. Is that okay with both of you?"

" _Fine_ …" Garde grumbled as she accepted it reluctantly.

"If it's any consolation, you may change your name later, if you so wish."

"So… there's a chance?"

"No."

"Alright, you have been registered, under the team name of BlueGreen, with the rank of none. Your room number is 07, located down that corridor. Should you have any questions, please ask the Nidoqueen at the Help Desk, located over there. Thank you and have a nice day."

"Whoo! We're finally here! Watch out, Frontier! We're gonna getcha!" Garde yelled… into the crowd that had drawn around.

An embarrassed Lu grabbed her and dragged her, bodily, towards their room.

* * *

 **So this is my first fanfic (barring something I did once and is hopefully never seeing the light of day ever again). Any thoughts? Comments? Send me a PM or Review with your questions and I'll try my best to answer them!**

 **As for the origins of the Headmaster's names + speech quirks for me to distinguish who's who in conversation:**

 **Sidirou: The Iron part from what Google Translate tells me is Greek for Iron Leg, Metagross' being the Iron Leg Pokémon. No speech quirks, but refers to Garde as little one.**

 **Ingeniu: From** ** _ingenium_** **, Latin for Genius. Speech quirk: says "Ahahaha!" before every line. Calls Garde brat.**

 **Maggy: From** ** _maggyo_** **, the Japanese name for Stunfisk. I used Maggy rather than Maggyo, because it sounds more natural. Yes, I am aware the yo is a separate sound. Speech quirk: has a … after the first word of every sentence. Has not been shown to call Garde anything yet, but for the record, she just calls Garde Garde.**

 **Roya: From Royal, which is from Slowking's title: the Royal Pokémon. The L was removed to … make it sound more normal, I guess? Speech quirk: Says "Dammit!" at some point in every line.**

 **Yawu: From** **烟雾** **, or** ** _Yānwù,_** **which is Chinese for Smog. The N was taken out to make the name flow just a little bit better, and also less Chinese sounding. No speech quirks either, calls Garde Garde.**


End file.
